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Moishe has been lying ill for weeks. A few days ago he slipped
into a coma, and everyone feared the worst. The family is called.
The son from Miami.The daughter from ...
A New Theorem on Salary states:
Engineers, Teachers, Programmers and Scientists can never earn as much salary as business executives and sales people.
This theorem can now ...
An elderly Florida couple, Sam and Bessie, are vacationing in Las Vegas.
Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale
one day, he buys them, wears ...
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The
doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me
back a sample tomorrow."
The ...
Santa Claus is a woman...
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, ...
Australian Police have been totally unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply ...
SCAM ALERT! WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY!
_
THIS IS SERIOUS!
If you get an envelope from a company called the "Internal Revenue
Service," DO NOT OPEN IT!
...
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the
windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all
travelling at maximum velocity. ...
Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to
the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if ...
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was
greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, ...
Sean was lyin' on his deathbed with his lifelong friend by
his side.
"Paddy, me dear friend, ye remember that grand case o'
scotch we won at poker when we were in the ...
Search the Library's extensive humor database.
Secrets for a man to lead a happy life:
1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money
3. It is ...
At his morning security meeting G. W. Bush is advised the two Brazilian troops were killed in Iraq yesterday. GW jumps up in horror. "How will I tell the people about this. ...
SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males)
1. Elementary Map Reading
2. Crying and Law Enforcement
3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
4. You ...
This is a real, honest-to-god, piece of SPAM (junk mail) that
I received recently, back before Enron and Worldcom and
other as yet undisclosed corporate crimes.
It's a ...
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it sits in your living ...
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang. The wife (undoubtedly
blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
moment And said, "How should I know, that's 200 ...
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. ...
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, I get a little each month, but not ...
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench. Ethel said, "You know, Mabel, I've been reading this 'Sex and Marriage' book and all they ...
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on
shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife ...
Sex sandals This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this sandal shop. From ...
An elderly couple was watching television, and they only spoke to one another during the commercials. During one of those commercials, the husband asked his wife, "Whatever ...
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