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"SMOKING KILLS. AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE."
Brooke Shields
"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP."
...
The problem with some people is that when they aren`t drunk, they`re sober. -William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with ...
The CIA, the FBI, and the LAPD all claimed to be the best at apprehending criminals. Finally they agreed on a test. A large forest was subdivided into three sections, and a rabbit ...
This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval
ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
Radio conversation ...
Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells?
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd ...
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good ...
Warning: Rape Drug Used on Men
PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT
GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS
Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer ...
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
contributed by: Duke Duquette
How can you possibly not love the Irish?
Real "Personal ads" in the Dublin News
-
Heavy drinker, 35, Cor
20) Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19) Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17) Too ...
REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go ...
RECIPE FOR A JOYOUS HOLIDAY MEAL FROM THE ALTERNATIVE GOURMET WHOLE ROASTED REINDEER WITH CHRISTMAS ELF STUFFING
This recipe has been around for many years in many fashions but ...
Network Blitz
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a ...
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war (so, what's new in this
regard?).
During one battle, the French captured an English Major. Taking the Major to
their ...
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Alabama recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, ...
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away
and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
- ...
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to ...
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the
summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the ...
The following list were all books that have been recently rejected
by the Dr. Suess series:
The Cat in the Blender
Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
Fox in Detox
...
Rejected Hallmark Cards:
So your daughter's a hooker
And it spoiled your day
Look at the bright side
She's a really good lay.
You totalled your car
And can't ...
Rejected Motel 6 Slogans
16. We're working on that smell thing, too.
15. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.
14. As seen on "COPS"
13. If We'd ...
REJECTED STATE MOTTOS
ALABAMA
Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries with dat?
ALASKA
Come, freeze your butt off
ARIZONA
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds ...
The Top 17 Rejected Titles for the Movie "Twister"
17. "Totally Gone With The Wind"
16. "Lift and Separate"
15. "Boys on the Side-Of My Barn"
14. "Summer Film So Full ...
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