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A Visit to the Stock Yard
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall states: "This ...
I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too
much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they
kidding? That is my idea of a ...
The pharmacy
One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak to the pharmacist. "I am the pharmacist," she informed ...
ABBOTT: Fry's Electronics. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the ...
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was ...
Did you hear Abe Lincoln was Jewish?
He was shot in the temple!
ACCEPTANCE TESTING
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a
computer company. They both had the same qualifications.
In order to determine which individual to ...
Accuracy Movement Spreading to Other Memorials
Jan 17, 2002
(NEW YORK) The New York City Fire Department commissioned a statue of the famous photo of three firemen hoisting an ...
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask ...
THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS:
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have
anyone to ...
S C I E N T I S T S D I S C O V E R N E W E L E M E N T
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university
physicists. The element, ...
It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
It is important that a man makes you laugh.
It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't ...
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
There is always a way.
The easy way is always mined.
...
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar
for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws.
At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble ...
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you
think in ...
A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and
feels really good about the result. On his way home, he stops at a
newsstand and buys a paper. Before ...
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the
mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need
repair or correction. The ...
Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women:
1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.
2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a ...
This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi.
Surprised, the bartender looks around and says
"You ain't from around here... where you from, boy?".
The ...
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
The day after losing his wife in a diving accident,
a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska
State Troopers.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...
As a TEXAN I thought I would share a few of the things I have learned in my 30 years of living in this Heaven on Earth located South of the Red River and North of the Rio Grande. I ...
Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, ...
You know when you are "all growed up" when... 1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You ...
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