Humor
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Who said children are getting dumber every year.
Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven. ...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer ...
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think
of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the
entirety of the human experience could ...
"Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman"
1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you
have had in the past.
2. Christmas trees don't get mad ...
Rules for Work
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, ...
Monica Lewinsky decided to trim up. So she went to a plastic surgeon.
She told the doctor she wanted to lose the love handles. The doctor told
her if he performed the operation ...
A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all
the animals. It was fascinating." ...
Finish Your Beer ~ There Are Sober People In China!
Cat ~ The Other White Meat!
Jesus Loves You ~ Everyone Else Thinks You're An Asshole!
Some People Are Alive Because ...
FINALLY... THE TRUE STORY...
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God,
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me ...
All stessed out?
Sometimes it helps to think of happy scenes. Maybe a pastoral field, a
field with a babbling brook.
You're there on a lovely summer's day......holding ...
A Bloke in Australia walks up to the bar with a big OSTRICH behind him, and as he sits, a small CAT jumps up on the stool beside him. The barman comes over, regarding the trio with ...
Santa Claus is a woman...
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, ...
Men are like vacations....they never seem to be long enough.
Men are like computers...hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Men are like coolers...load them with ...
FUN WITH SADDAM AND BILL
Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round
of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down,
he notices ...
I sent out an email message, on MS Exchange, to all of my application users informing them to modify their PC's regional date style to mm/dd/yyyy. This application resides on the ...
California Statutes
Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC 370.00
370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting
license may also ...
SIGNS YOU HAVE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90s
_
1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is
that they do not have email addresses.
2. If you can't order it by ...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal
and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and ...
Moishe has been lying ill for weeks. A few days ago he slipped
into a coma, and everyone feared the worst. The family is called.
The son from Miami.The daughter from ...
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility.
However, each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant
aware of his predicament, suggested he ...
Top 10 Signs That You Have Job Burnout:
10. You're so tired, you now answer the phone with just: "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately ...
Bill & Hillary had Al & Tipper Gore over for dinner at the White House. In the middle of dinner, Al excused himself to use the bathroom. After a couple of minutes, he came back. ...
HOW TO COOK A TURKEY
Step 1 Go buy a turkey
Step 2 Take a drink of whiskey (scotch)
Step 3 Put turkey in the oven
Step 4 Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5 ...
It was the end of the school year. The teacher had turned in her grades; there was nothing really for the class to do. All the kids were restless and it was near the end of the ...
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