The Manbottle Library

Humor


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You know you're from Florida if...

You measure distance in minutes. You've ever had to switch from heat to air conditioning in the same day. You see a car running in a store parking lot with no one in it, no ...

All in the perspective

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling ...

Church Bake Sale

Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the ...

How Many Dogs...

How Many Dogs/Cats Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside ...

Thinking Outside The Box

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is ...

Why Parents go Gray

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a ...

Rectum Stretcher

Network Blitz While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a ...

Urban Legends

To my friends, thanks to you sending me urban legend chain letters in 2003: I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains. I ...

Fruit of the Loom

The other morning I took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. "What the hell?" I said to myself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when I shook them out. "Jeanette," I ...

The Best Resignation Letter Ever

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! Dear Mr. Baker: As a graduate of an ...

Puns for Intellectuals

1. Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess stops them and says "sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger." 2. NASA recently sent a ...

Medical Misprints

Here are some funny typos and grammatical errors from medical documents: * The patient is a 15-year-old male who struck a wall because he was angry with his left hand. * I ...

Rome

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less ...

Cajun Fishing Tale

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night crawlers. He be about reddy to leave when he seed a snake wit a big frog in his mout. He knowed dat dem ...

 

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