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News from Hopkins Medical Center......
Yesterday research scientists revealed that beer contains
small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed ...
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her ...
Here are some funny typos and grammatical errors from medical documents:
* The patient is a 15-year-old male who struck a wall because he was angry with his left hand.
* I ...
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting. ...
A gentleman had been trying for years to meet the Pope. Finally,
his wish was granted. When the gentleman approached the Pope
he said, "Your Eminence, I am so happy to be given ...
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a
prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist
University, English 44A, SMU, ...
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as ...
It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time...
What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...
MEN'S 43 RULES FOR WOMEN
1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet UP when you are done.
2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be ...
Men are like vacations....they never seem to be long enough.
Men are like computers...hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Men are like coolers...load them with ...
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl named Mary on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike" the Cop said "did Santa bring it to ...
Merry Christmas From Mom
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I
can't breathe or eat. The ...
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...
USEFUL METRIC CONVERSIONS
1 million microphones: 1 phone
1 million phones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
10 ...
Texan cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, ...
You knew these were coming…
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Willie Shoemaker?
Willie Shoemaker DOES have a license to ride 4 year olds.
I Got a new car ...
Mid-life is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
Mid-life women no longer have upper ...
A reporter goes to Israel to cover the fighting. She is looking for
something emotional and positive and of human interest. Something like that
guy in Sarajevo who risked his ...
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few
weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo ...
Mike Tyson is in bed with a girl, and he says, "My life's a disaster. I was born to an under-privileged
family, had a rough childhood, I was thrown in jail for rape, my wife left ...
Interesting but mindless trivia ...
Did you know that.....?
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
...
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior
college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name
the organ of the human body, which under ...
"He's not the brightest cookie in the lamp."
"Predicting is difficult, especially when it involves the future."
"That thing was jumping up and down like a sieve."
"We will ...
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