Humor
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A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no
heaven. After a long life, ...
For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did
not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good,
politically correct ...
After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake
up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to
feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people ...
Gifts for men
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him ...
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and
help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
start it."
Her friend asks, ...
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The
doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me
back a sample tomorrow."
The ...
President Clinton got together with some of his golf buddies for a round.
When they got ready to tee off on hole No. 1, Clinton removed his golf jacket
and revealed that he had ...
... THINGS ON WHICH TO PONDER:
* Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
* Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
* Talk is cheap because ...
20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000.
The bank ...
The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness,
requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose
orally, so a California ...
Happy Halloween
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being
a devoted ...
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY -
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you,
it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown,
BUT, it only ...
Prayer for the Stressed
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The
courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wisdom to hide
the bodies ...
Three Labrador Retrievers - a brown, yellow and black - are sitting in the
waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The
black lab turns to the brown ...
Some Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School Or College:
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television
were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca Cola ...
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and ...
Setting Company Policy........
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs ...
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event.
It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.
Before the final match, the American ...
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a
State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to
himself, "This driver is just as ...
Some of you have voiced that Engineers are a different breed....Perhaps the
following will help you understand us.....
Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering ...
How to wash the cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water-a strong
industrial solvent often works best-and lift both ...
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy ...
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