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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION ...
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Jesus joined a threesome on the first hole. The drive had to be hit
over two small lakes to reach a green surrounded by sandtraps.
Jesus said "OK, I'll do this one. If Palmer ...
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A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his ...
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LITTLE JOHNNY ON... PHILOSOPHY:
A Teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
He replies, "None, they ...
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Microsoft complies with "truth in advertising" requirements...
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The question recently came up about the start of the new millennium. I wasn't going to get into it, but someone asked. In short, the official answer is, it starts in 2001. However, ...
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I've been amusing myself coming up with Taliban "secret weapons", including mobile AA guns mounted on camels and "stealth horses" with pillows tied round their feet. However, I'm ...
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Why radical Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide...
No premarital sex.
No booze. None. Never.
No TV. No cable TV. No satellite TV.
No Spice channel. No ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Another musician dies at age 27. Another member of the so-called "27 Club". Is it coincidence, or is something deeper going on here? Shortly after ...
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by Curtis Wiggins This is a paraphrased recollection of an actual conversation I had with my mother when I was about four or five… Me: What’s an easter egg hunt? Mom: We take ...
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The proper way to pronounce "Oklahoma" is ...
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I was in the express lane at the store. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. The ...
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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. ...
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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Links to other sources of questionable humor and arcane knowledge
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Personally identifiable information, including your name and e-mail address, is kept confidential. It will not be sold to, or shared with, other parties for any reason, unless required by law ...
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Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
1.The DNA's all the same
2.There's no dental record
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Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5000 types of snakes, and 4998 live in Florida.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 ...
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It was opening night at the theatre and people came from miles around to
see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As the hypnotist took to the stage,
he announced,
"Unlike most ...
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Editor's note: I have no idea whether any of this will actually work,
but hey, it's worth a try...
Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has ...
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