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Computer Upgrade

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computer upgrade

Action Item

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action item man

Calling in Sick

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Calling in Sick Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion I had a ...

Happy Halloween

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witch

Bumper Stickers 2

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Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off. Horn Broken, Watch for Finger If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, ...

Blonde Breast Stroke Competition

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A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the ...

Southern Culture

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THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERNER SAY: Duct Tape won't fix that. Wrasslin's fake. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe. Lisa Marie was lucky to ...

Travel agent stories

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The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography)... I had someone who wanted ...

Courtroom humor 2

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The following are actual statements made during court cases: Judge: I know you, don't I? Defendant: Uh, yes. Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you? Defendant: ...

Microsoft Windaz 2000

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New Australian version of Windows...
Aussie Windaz 2000

Santa

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santa

Spring Lock Coupling Disconnect Tool

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by Curtis Wiggins There used to be a time when working on a car was simple. At least a little simpler than rocket science or brain surgery. I can remember when I could open the ...

Those Wacky Bobbetts

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by Curtis Wiggins I swore to myself that I wasn't going to do this. I swore I would not write anything about John and Lorena Bobbett and their tendency to cut off body parts. ...

Guidelines

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Here at the Phineas T. Manbottle Library of Arcane Knowledge and Questionable Humor we try very hard to avoid being politically correct. ...

Recollections of Easter (The Easter Egg Hunt)

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by Curtis Wiggins This is a paraphrased recollection of an actual conversation I had with my mother when I was about four or five… Me: What’s an easter egg hunt? Mom: We take ...

God as a Computer Programmer

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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

You know you're a Floridian if...

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You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...

Thought of the Day

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Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything,  But they ...

Volcanoes

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How many active volcanoes are in the United States? (For the purposes of this question, count only volcanoes that are "historically active", i.e. volcanoes that have a written ...

True bravery

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True bravery is a guy arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by his wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "You still cleaning, or are you gonna be ...

Abbott & Costello in the 21st Century

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ABBOTT: Fry's Electronics. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the ...

One Nation Under God

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When were the words "under God" added to the Pledge of Allegiance?

The True Definition of Globalization

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Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend ...

 

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