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Family Planning

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Redneck birth control After having their 11th child, a Missouri couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his ...

Dave Berry's Rules to Live By

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"19 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn" By Dave Barry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in ...

Trent Dilfer

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Trent Dilfer recently returned home and had an incredibly hard time getting into the front door. It seems someone painted an end zone in front of the house. Trent Dilfer was ...

Lack of Tact

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Tact Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, ...

20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days

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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days 1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. A hard-on doesn't ...

Body Art

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body art body art body art

Men Jokes

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It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time... What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...

Stupid Horse

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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish ...

Hail to the Chief

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Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal from a donkey to a condom, because it represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false ...

Differences Between You and Your Boss

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When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ...

Computer Camp

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Billy, a good, normal ten-year-old boy, and his parents set down to select a summer camp for Billy. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the ...

MS buys US

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REDMOND, Wash. - Nov. 14, 1997 - In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal ...

Those Wacky Bobbetts

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by Curtis Wiggins I swore to myself that I wasn't going to do this. I swore I would not write anything about John and Lorena Bobbett and their tendency to cut off body parts. ...

Guidelines

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Here at the Phineas T. Manbottle Library of Arcane Knowledge and Questionable Humor we try very hard to avoid being politically correct. ...

Code Monkey

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Music by Jonathan Coulton's, from his "Thing a Week" project,  Video by Mike Spiff www.spiffworld.com

The Meaning of Life

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When I was a child, I had a dream that I looked up at the stars, and in the stars I saw the answer. THE answer, the ultimate answer to everything. It was perfect, it was beautiful, ...

Recollections of Easter (The Easter Egg Hunt)

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by Curtis Wiggins This is a paraphrased recollection of an actual conversation I had with my mother when I was about four or five… Me: What’s an easter egg hunt? Mom: We take ...

I could SO not be Amish

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Monday night (Labor Day), a storm blew through here.  Typical Florida storm, but...  In one instant there was a bright flash, and a really LOUD boom, and all the lights ...

Vatican Bathroom

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Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.  Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...

Alabama Traffic Stop

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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets  pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than  the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...

10 things I hate about Star Trek

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By an anonymous Trekkie.  10. Noisy doors.  You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH

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Mike never dreamed that slowly cruising on his Harley Davidson Fat-Boy motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did Mike suspect. Mike ...

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. ...

 

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