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Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your ...
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Dear Santa: Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...
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WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF
1. MONICA LEWINSKI
2. O.J. SIMPSON
3. TED KENNEDY
4. BILL CLINTON
WHY YOU ASK?
1. MONICA IS A HOOKER
2. O.J. IS A SLICER
3. TED ...
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from Andy Rooney On Ads In Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk ...
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Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal
from a donkey to a condom, because it represents inflation, halts
production, and gives you a false ...
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The following are actual statements made during court cases:
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: ...
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The board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze
bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of pounding a pint or
two...
1. WARNING: ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Anderson, Jeremy S.
If you put a billion monkeys in ...
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A brief excerpt from the 2002 video release "Robin Williams Live on Broadway"… Note: This clip contains coarse language (but with a nifty Scottish accent)
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...
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The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin ...
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The proper way to pronounce "Oklahoma" is ...
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After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...
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A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. ...
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Visit these friends and sponsors of The Manbottle Library
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Yes, we exchange links! Guidelines for linking to The Manbottle Library
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The Manbottle Library is now accepting advertising at very competitive rates. Viewership is approximately 250,000 page views per month.
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Personally identifiable information, including your name and e-mail address, is kept confidential. It will not be sold to, or shared with, other parties for any reason, unless required by law ...
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An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone
failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when
it did ring, her pet dog ...
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What was the first national anthem?
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Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night
crawlers. He be about reddy to leave when he seed a snake wit a big frog in
his mout. He knowed dat dem ...
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A business owner in Texas was confused about paying an invoice minus the
early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her ...
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