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A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the
octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing
octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar that ...
A man walks into the market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid
is spinning a 25 cent piece in the air and catching it between his
teeth. As they walk through the market ...
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The ...
In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand.
She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth
and ...
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the
window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type,
must be good with a computer and must be ...
A guy walks into a doctor's office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I've ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can't stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?" ...
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his ...
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his
4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole
event. The man thought, "Great...he's 4 ...
1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer
from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a ...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. ...
A Minnesotan dies and is sent to hell. He was a horrible man throughout
Life and the devil really wanted to punish him, so he puts him to work
Breaking up rocks with a ...
A 12 year old girl discovered a new way to deal with flashers. According to the Virginian-Pilot, when the man exposed himself she simply reached out, grabbed is zipper, and ...
A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question
to ask you but I don't want to offend ...
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to ...
Triple Shots
A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot 3 times in the stomach. She ...
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just ...
An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and
chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next ...
A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They
found themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while,
they got into the habit of ...
Right before Christmas I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was ...
A senior couple pulls up to a gas station:
Attendant: How may I help you?
Old Man: Please fill it up.
Old Lady: What did he say?
Old Man [yelling]: He asked what we ...
A baby seal walks into a club....
Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the shack,
not a thing was a movin',
from the front to the back,
The kids were in bed,
I believe we had nine,
...
A story about genies...
A husband and wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined by beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and ...
A TEXAN FARMER IN AUSTRALIA
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he
meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off
his big wheat field and ...
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