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Hello,
I'm Al Gore, and I'd like to tell you about myself. I
know a lot about hardship, because I came into this
world as a poor black child in a tiny town in the ...
This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the
two words Lewinsky (the Intern) and Kaczynski (the Unabomber) in a
limerick. Here are the three winners: ...
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend.
When I was 16 I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I
decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for ...
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not ...
A LITTLE REFLECTION ON LIFE AS A MALE
When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.
When I was 16, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no
passion. ...
~~~ Life as an Americian ~~~
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay ...
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and
were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell,
so brides carried ...
In a mental institution, a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient
pretending as if he's driving a car, with his hands at 10 and 2. The
nurse asks him, "Charlie! What are ...
1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
2. Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances ...
Life`s Mathematics ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = ...
1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.
2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
3. I live in my own little world, ...
A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their
horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would
feel objects from pumice stones ...
According to a news report, a certain private school
in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use
lipstick and ...
A dwarf with a lisp went to a horse show to buy a mare. He wandered around
until he came across a beautiful mare inside a small enclosure with a farmer
standing at the gate. He ...
A Man's Guide to What a Woman Is Really Saying
I need = I want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you ...
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That ...
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...
LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he ...
More little Johnny! One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, ...
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains ...
It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the
kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.
The first little girl says: ...
and the moral of the story is.....
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude with the moral of that story. ...
A policeman on horseback is at a traffic light and next to him is a kid on
his bike. The policeman smiles down at the kid and says, "Nice bike you
got there. Santa bring that ...
Little Johnny asks his mother one day, "Mom, how old are you?". His
mother replies, "Now Johnny, you cannot ask a woman's age. That is
not polite". The next day Little Johnny ...
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