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Two old jewish men were walking and noticed a sign outside the church. "Convert today for Fifty dollars". The first one said what do I have to lose ? So he goes in. His friend ...
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and
help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
start it."
Her friend asks, ...
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim
suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...
The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness,
requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose
orally, so a California ...
My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned...
couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, ...
John Cleese was recently asked on American TV what he thought the
differences between the English and the Americans were.
In reply he said that there were three differences: ...
The body of JFK Jr. has been found, so let the jokes begin...
What's the best thing about a Kennedy wedding?
The way arriving guests like to make a big splash.
They're ...
A less than daily offering of new humor
JUST KEEP IT WET
Miss Bea was in her 80's and much admired for her sweetness
and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon
early in the Spring and she ...
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the ...
An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...
All stessed out?
Sometimes it helps to think of happy scenes. Maybe a pastoral field, a
field with a babbling brook.
You're there on a lovely summer's day......holding ...
The humour dejour, as it were.
Selected daily by our own Schrödinger, the cat.
Just turned 50...
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned
to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow ...
A Dutchman, an Australian, and a New Zealander are in Saudi Arabia,
sharing a smuggled crate of booze when Saudi police rush in and arrest
them. The mere possession of alcohol ...
You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"
As we ain't got no programming experience, this virus works on the honor
system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive ...
Who said children are getting dumber every year.
Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven. ...
Ever notice how a four-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe ...
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to
Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and
asked, "If big dogs ...
"HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?"
You got to find somebody who likes the
same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that
you like sports, and she should keep ...
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child
in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with
the remainder of the proverb. ...
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
artwork. As she got to one little girl ...
questions about love, marriage and sex were posed to kids
ages 5 to 10. Their answers below are enlightening:
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Once I'm done with ...
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
year-olds: "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and
deeper than anyone could have ...
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