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"Hey, boss, I not come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach
ache, and my legs hurt, I not come work."
The boss says: "You know Carlos I really need you today. ...
Dear Santa,
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond
earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little
thing, and I want ...
There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it. The lake was frozen ...
IDIOTS ARE EVERYWHERE. HERE ARE SOME PLACES TO FIND THEM:
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that I had never ...
Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
If Men Ruled the World...
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable
response to "I love you."
- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name ...
How would our lifes be different if Microsoft built cars?
1. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
2. You would constantly be pressured to upgrade your car.
3. You ...
If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer...
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and
start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on ...
Did you ever wonder what driving to the store would be like if
operating systems ran your car? (not unless your a systems geek)
-
MS-DOS: You get in the car and ...
Thursday January 4 7:50 AM ET
Car Thieves Drink HIV-Infected Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Two members of a gang of Brazilian car
thieves may have drank vials of ...
If you take an Oriental man and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? ...
A little girl was playing in her backyard when she spotted two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
...
Monday, December 11, 2000
BERLIN (Reuters) - A lovesick German who had second thoughts over a
suicide attempt nearly died minutes later when he accidentally blew his ...
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, ...
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that ...
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have ...
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist
and lsat ltteer is at ...
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
- Red Buttons
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you ...
If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a ...
The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
Great groups ...
IT'S ALL IN THE INTERPRETATION
WANTS AND NEEDS (wontz and nedz) n.
female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and
psychological longing one seeks to have ...
Interpretations of nature from junior high, high school, and college test
papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers (spelling
errors preserved)....
"When ...
The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his
company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked,
"If you could have a ...
Into an Irish pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over
by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and
bruised and he's walking ...
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