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How Old Do You Feel?
To get an idea of the lives of those entering college this fall, read on......... and try not to laugh...............
1. The people who are starting ...
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger ...
HOW TO BE A MORON IN AMERICA
Latest Entries in the Moron Award Sweepstakes.
Not quite stupid enough for the Darwin awards, but they are working on
it.
A man walked into a ...
George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see
from the bedroom window. ...
HOW TO COOK A TURKEY
Step 1 Go buy a turkey
Step 2 Take a drink of whiskey (scotch)
Step 3 Put turkey in the oven
Step 4 Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5 ...
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle gently in the crook of your left arm as if
holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of
cat's ...
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car
with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer
at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) ...
MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick
behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or ...
Wednesday, March 24, 2021 (27 posts)
The Jim Beam whiskey warehouse in Bardstown, Kentucky went up in flames yesterday... ...
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME
Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage,
empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed,
laminate, ...
How to settle the 2000 Presidential Election:
Ok, Folks. I've given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this
election finished. Now It is my turn:
#1: Al Gore ...
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you ...
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies." He responded.
"Oh. Killing ...
How to wash the cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water-a strong
industrial solvent often works best-and lift both ...
Howard is a 95 year old man who lives in a senior citizen home. Every
night after dinner, Howard goes to the secluded garden behind the center
to sit and ponder his ...
Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But, every once in a while, ...
( We take you now to the Oval Office... )
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: ...
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place ...
Two men are hunting in the woods when one of them suddenly falls to the
ground. He doesn't appear to be breathing. The second man pulls out his
cell phone and dials 911. He ...
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
Now that Uday & Qusay have left us, a lot of the lesser-known family members
are coming to the attention of American authorities.
Among the brothers:
Sooflay ...
I AM THANKFUL FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT BECAUSE SHE IS
HOME WITH ME, NOT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES, BECAUSE ...
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to
decide who was in charge.
"I should be in charge", said the brain, "because I run all the
body's systems, so ...
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too
much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason...
I'm tired because I'm overworked.
Take ...
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