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Stay on alert

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Be advised that terrorists may attempt to pass themselves off as ordinary American citizens and may even attempt to change their hair color, wardrobe or appearance in order to ...

We'll go forward

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from the Miami Herald September 12, 2001 by Leonard Pitts We'll go forward from this moment It's my job to have something to say. They pay me to provide words that ...

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

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HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) ...

Lawyer Jokes

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The post office just recalled their newest stamps: they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. How are an apple and a ...

If you steal a car, don't drink the yogurt...

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Thursday January 4 7:50 AM ET Car Thieves Drink HIV-Infected Blood RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Two members of a gang of Brazilian car thieves may have drank vials of ...

Rape Drug Used on Men

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Warning: Rape Drug Used on Men PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer ...

10 Questions Not To Ask During A Job Interview

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Top 10 Questions You Should Never Ask When Being Interviewed For A Job : 1. What's your company's policy on severance pay? 2. How long does it take your company's ...

Democrats' Golf Rules

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1. Democrats get to keep shooting until one gets par or an acceptable score. 2. Democrats are allowed to keep score by hand, Republicans are not allowed to keep score at ...

Einstein's Riddle

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ALBERT EINSTEIN'S RIDDLE ARE YOU IN THE TOP 2% OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD? SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND FIND OUT. There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and ...

Firing Squad

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Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any ...

Oil Change Instructions

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Oil Change Instructions for Women: 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change. 2. Drink a cup of coffee. 3. Fifteen minutes later, ...

The Labrador Retriever

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I pulled into a crowded mall parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to ...

Eggs

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The Meaning of Life

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When I was a child, I had a dream that I looked up at the stars, and in the stars I saw the answer. THE answer, the ultimate answer to everything. It was perfect, it was beautiful, ...

New Element Discovered

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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...

You know you're a Floridian if...

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You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...

Giving up wine

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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...

A year without Santa Claus, the untold story...

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Because you're old enough now to know what REALLY happened...

Mom's Favorite Holiday Recipe

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TEQUILA CHRISTMAS CAKE 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups dried fruit Sample the ...

EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH

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Mike never dreamed that slowly cruising on his Harley Davidson Fat-Boy motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did Mike suspect. Mike ...

WD-40

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What does the "WD" in WD-40 stand for?

Medical Misprints

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Here are some funny typos and grammatical errors from medical documents: * The patient is a 15-year-old male who struck a wall because he was angry with his left hand. * I ...

 

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