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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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If you've seen Star Trek: Nemesis, and were wondering why the villain seemed strangely familiar, we have the answer. They said he was a clone of Jean-Luc Picard, but we discovered ...
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... Yes, all of our animals have jobs, and compound nicknames. Phineas, the big dog, is known as Security-Dog. He was born a security dog. He takes great pride in ...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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Music by Jonathan Coulton's, from his "Thing a Week" project, Video by Mike Spiff www.spiffworld.com
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(I'll keep this one short and light, I promise. And there's a joke at the end.) I don't know, maybe I'm crazy but... When someone says to me "Happy ...
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Monday is Memorial Day, the day we honor the men and women who gave their lives in service to their country. This holiday began as a remembrance of the soldiers lost in the Civil ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old, and ...
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What US president once said "It is a good thing I am not a woman, as I would
always be pregnant, for I cannot say no"
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Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a
redhead, and one's a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks
if she has any ...
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They say Frenchmen are horny…
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Drake, our white, stub-tailed kitty, (aka Anger-Management-Kitty) apparently will abide no fightin in his establishment. He was lounging by the pool this morning while the ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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ABBOTT: Fry's Electronics. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the ...
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One day a florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you, I am doing community service." ...
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