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When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was very, very
attracted to him, and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"Tarzan not ...
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is RHYTHMICALLY ...
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Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why ...
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A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by
a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.
He said, "I'm doing some research for ...
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Note: Unlike many such things, this really is a true story. You can
hear the audio clip at http://www.snopes2.com/radiotv/audio/newlywed.rm
Just think, where would we be
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George Costanza's Tips for Working Hard
1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People
with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees ...
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"The Bible shows us the way to go to Heaven, but not the way the heavens
go."
- Galileo Galilei (16th century astronomer)
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Personally, I don't know which is more bizarre: The fact that the ad
agency thought they could get away with this ad, or that Reuters found
it necessary to explain to its ...
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30 things Girls Think Guys Should Know
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say ...
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A California fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in ...
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The world was stunned by the news this morning of the death of the
Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the
death occurred at approximately 8:24 AM. ...
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal
and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and ...
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Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's
station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they
got caught in a terrible blizzard. They ...
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1. The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
2. Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. ...
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Hillary Clinton was walking the grounds of the White House when she came across a little boy with a litter of newborn pups. She asks the boy what kind of puppies they were. He ...
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A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be ...
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Here fishy, fishy, fishy...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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Frequently Asked Questions
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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a ...
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Who was the state of Maryland named for?
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Here are some funny typos and grammatical errors from medical documents:
* The patient is a 15-year-old male who struck a wall because he was angry with his left hand.
* I ...
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A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says:
"Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!"
"No, no," says the ...
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It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at ...
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