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The post office just recalled their newest stamps:
they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure
out which side to spit on.
How are an apple and a ...
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One
of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next ...
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After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
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One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home
and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the
nurses bathe her, feed her a ...
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The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar
having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and
says, " Whoever can say liver and ...
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The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of England.
It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is very excited. No expense has been ...
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[The following question was originally posed by Steven Wright.]
Question: If you strapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of a cat, which way down would it land?
[Well, ...
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The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man ...
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A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the
second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks
nothing of it and is about to ...
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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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In what city did the word "ok" originate?
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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. ...
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A paratrooper calls his dad after his first day of paratrooping. His dad
asks "So, did you jump?" He says "I will get to that."
When he was airborne the drill captain opened ...
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From what inspiration, did Berkely Breathed come up with the name "Opus" for
his penguin character in Bloom County?
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Yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo who told me that they are
on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take
the market by storm. This drug ...
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THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING, BUT AREN'T...
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"If I don't ...
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You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...
1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You decide to re-organize your family into a ...
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WHERE DO CONSULTANTS GO WHEN THEY DIE?
There once was a consultant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made ...
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MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
By Hank Vorjes
VATICAN CITY (AP) - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square
this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican ...
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The proper way to pronounce "Oklahoma" is ...
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The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she ...
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A business owner in Texas was confused about paying an invoice minus the
early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her ...
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Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."
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One day a florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you, I am doing community service." ...
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