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"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." - Anonymous "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are ...
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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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The Baltimore Police Department, famous for it's superior K-9 unit, was
somewhat taken back by a recent incident.
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her ...
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83 things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say:
-
1. uh-oh....
2. Oh S***!
3. What the heck?!?
4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Monday October 8 7:14 AM ET
Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run
ALBUQUERQUE (Reuters) - An Albuquerque policeman and his pilot face disciplinary measures after using a ...
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Monday night (Labor Day), a storm blew through here. Typical Florida storm, but... In one instant there was a bright flash, and a really LOUD boom, and all the lights ...
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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer
guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...
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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...
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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old, and ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when
game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are
now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...
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1) What television show featured guest appearances by Elizabeth
Montgomery, Dick York, and Agnes Moorehead as well as by William
Shatner, James Doohan, and George Takei?
2) ...
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Steve Allen, Renaissance Man:
...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci
as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...
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Top Ten Things Only Women Understand:
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
...
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Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right.
Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...
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A recent survey of boat owners revealed that only 13% of them would
go overboard to save their spouse. However 25% would go overboard
to save their hat.
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This answers the age old question of why do we have to do it this way?
Origins of engineering specs and government decisions.
Ever wonder where engineering specifications ...
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If you've seen Star Trek: Nemesis, and were wondering why the villain seemed strangely familiar, we have the answer. They said he was a clone of Jean-Luc Picard, but we discovered ...
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Drake, our white, stub-tailed kitty, (aka Anger-Management-Kitty) apparently will abide no fightin in his establishment. He was lounging by the pool this morning while the ...
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