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Little Johnny (getting married)

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Little Johnny and Susie are only ten years old, but they're sure they're in love and decided they wanted to get married. Little Johnny bravely approached Susie's father and ...

Reuters on the word 'Terrorist'

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Apparently concerned about the misinterpretation of language at this highly charged time, Reuters's head of global news, Stephen Jukes, has directed his staff to avoid the word ...

Windows Start

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A revised version of the default Windows startup sound…

Out of college too long

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YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN.... * Your potted plants stay alive. * Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd. * You keep more food than beer in the ...

He's Not Good Looking

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Two buddies were sitting at the bar in a singles' club and talking about another guy who was sitting at the other end of the bar. "I don't get it," complained the first guy, ...

Titanic

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The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of England. It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is very excited. No expense has been ...

Railroads to Space Shuttles

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Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells? The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd ...

An Elephant's Memory

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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...

Alabama Traffic Stop

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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets  pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than  the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Advertising

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The Manbottle Library is now accepting advertising at very competitive rates.  Viewership is approximately 250,000 page views per month.

The Topology of Hollywood

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Who is the center of the Hollywood universe? (and no, it is not Kevin Bacon.) And just to make it interesting, and to keep random guessing to a minimum, this week your first ...

Valentine's Day Poetry

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These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line: Love may be beautiful, love may be ...

Sick Joke

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A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says: "Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!" "No, no," says the ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Husband Jokes

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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. ...

Send us money for beer please

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This is a real, honest-to-god, piece of SPAM (junk mail) that I received recently, back before Enron and Worldcom and other as yet undisclosed corporate crimes. It's a ...

Hillary Special

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Hillary Special

From the Dalai Lama

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There is an e-mail currently circulating the Internet entitled "Instructions for Life in the New Millennium from the Dalai Lama". It contains such platitudes as "When you lose, ...

Rape Drug Used on Men

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Warning: Rape Drug Used on Men PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer ...

Girlfriend remote

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Finally! Technology has come through with something really useful.
girlfriend remote

HOW TO BE A MORON IN AMERICA

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HOW TO BE A MORON IN AMERICA Latest Entries in the Moron Award Sweepstakes. Not quite stupid enough for the Darwin awards, but they are working on it. A man walked into a ...

Frogs and Modern Management

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FELIX THE FLYING FROG, a Parable About Modern Management Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly ...

 

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