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1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer or wine in the fridge. ...
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A dictionary for software engineers:
Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta: Software ...
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There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Anderson, Jeremy S.
If you put a billion monkeys in ...
Viewed 12 times
If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP HMO 10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor's office include "take a left when you enter ...
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COMPUTER, POWER STRIP I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself and for the life of them could not ...
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MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
By Hank Vorjes
VATICAN CITY (AP) - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square
this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican ...
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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus
-code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from
your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not
touch "Work" under any ...
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( We take you now to the Oval Office... )
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: ...
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Bill of Rights restated
State Representative Mitchell Kaye of Georgia wrote the following:
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get ...
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ALBERT EINSTEIN'S RIDDLE
ARE YOU IN THE TOP 2% OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?
SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND FIND OUT.
There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and ...
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The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following:
Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...
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Let's get this straight.
Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
It's ...
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TOP 10 OLD FOLKS' PARTY GAMES
1. Sag - You're It!
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
4. Kick the Bucket
5. Red Rover, Red ...
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women:
1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.
2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a ...
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Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. ...
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Ya know, just make up your own joke here...
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A guy named Bill receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from
his company.
Unfortunately, when Bill arrives at the stadium, he realizes the
seat is in the last row in the ...
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AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, ...
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