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"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." - Anonymous "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are ...
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A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the
horse immediately springs into ...
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AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, ...
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20) Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19) Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17) Too ...
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by Curtis Wiggins
I am a collector. Collecting is a great hobby, if you can afford it. I can't. So my collection is a little different. There are lots of things to collect, but ...
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From me ("the Wishor") to you (hereinafter called the "Wishee"): Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially ...
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How Many Dogs/Cats Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside ...
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Donald Kaufman was recently nominated for an Academy Award.
No one like Donald Kaufman has ever been nominated before.
What is so unusual about Donald Kaufman?
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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on
shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife ...
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A paratrooper calls his dad after his first day of paratrooping. His dad
asks "So, did you jump?" He says "I will get to that."
When he was airborne the drill captain opened ...
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Who created the character of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"?
(Hint - it wasn't Gene Autry.)
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Who originally said...
"My greatest wish is that none of my children become lawyers."
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It's a good thing I was born a woman, or I'd have been a drag queen.
- Dolly Parton
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John Doe, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. John works independently,without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. John never
...
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The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of England.
It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is very excited. No expense has been ...
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LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting
on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of sex ...
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas
season emphasis on His birth.
...
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by Curtis Wiggins I have had a dream come true. First time that's happened to me, at least that I am aware of. It wasn't a very good dream, nothing to do with world peace, ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Golf Ball + Tennis Racquet + Indoor Hallway = Awesome! No toilet paper, no paper towels... got coffee filters? You can make pizza with Bisquick and spaghetti. You ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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When engineer David Bradley said "I may have invented it, but Bill Gates made it famous", to what was he referring?
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Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend ...
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Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how
nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and
without an argument go ...
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