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Dog Quotes

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"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."  - Anonymous  "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are ...

If Bush get's elected, I'll leave the country...

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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president? The original statements: Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...

Mental Health Hotline

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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If ...

Another true blonde story...

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The Baltimore Police Department, famous for it's superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her ...

83 things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say

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83 things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say: - 1. uh-oh.... 2. Oh S***! 3. What the heck?!? 4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO

20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus

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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. While he's in the ...

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run

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Monday October 8 7:14 AM ET Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run ALBUQUERQUE (Reuters) - An Albuquerque policeman and his pilot face disciplinary measures after using a ...

I could SO not be Amish

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Monday night (Labor Day), a storm blew through here.  Typical Florida storm, but...  In one instant there was a bright flash, and a really LOUD boom, and all the lights ...

Computer Problems

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...

12 Rules for Life

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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

Farmer's donkey fell down a well (updated ending)

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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, and ...

Redneck Luxuries

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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

Hollywood Squares 2

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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...

Instructions

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Instructions

To Boldly Go Where No Witch Has Gone Before...

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1) What television show featured guest appearances by Elizabeth Montgomery, Dick York, and Agnes Moorehead as well as by William Shatner, James Doohan, and George Takei? 2) ...

Steve Allen

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Steve Allen, Renaissance Man: ...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...

Top ten things only women understand (variation)

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Top Ten Things Only Women Understand: 10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8. Crying can be fun. ...

Origin of a Holiday Tradition

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Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime ...

Boat Owners

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A recent survey of boat owners revealed that only 13% of them would go overboard to save their spouse. However 25% would go overboard to save their hat.

Origins of Engineering Specifications

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This answers the age old question of why do we have to do it this way? Origins of engineering specs and government decisions. Ever wonder where engineering specifications ...

The truth behind Shinzon

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If you've seen Star Trek: Nemesis, and were wondering why the villain seemed strangely familiar, we have the answer. They said he was a clone of Jean-Luc Picard, but we discovered ...

What are friends for...

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Drake the Bouncer-Kitty

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Drake, our white, stub-tailed kitty, (aka Anger-Management-Kitty) apparently will abide no fightin in his establishment.  He was lounging by the pool this morning while the ...

 

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