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Husband Jokes

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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. ...

Send us money for beer please

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This is a real, honest-to-god, piece of SPAM (junk mail) that I received recently, back before Enron and Worldcom and other as yet undisclosed corporate crimes. It's a ...

Rape Drug Used on Men

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Warning: Rape Drug Used on Men PLEASE READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer ...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

MS buys US

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REDMOND, Wash. - Nov. 14, 1997 - In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal ...

Exploding Whale

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What happens when you mix one dead whale and half a ton of dynamite...

Summer BBQ Season

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After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season.  Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...

The Twist

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How did Chubby Checker get his name?

The Topology of Hollywood

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Who is the center of the Hollywood universe? (and no, it is not Kevin Bacon.) And just to make it interesting, and to keep random guessing to a minimum, this week your first ...

Boot Camp

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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...

How teaching math has evolved

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Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger ...

Happy Marriage

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An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance," says Mrs. Murphy. "He ...

How to find bin Laden.

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The CIA has a new tactic. It is following Jane Fonda - she has been dating the guy for six months.

Reuters on the word 'Terrorist'

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Apparently concerned about the misinterpretation of language at this highly charged time, Reuters's head of global news, Stephen Jukes, has directed his staff to avoid the word ...

Afghan Rocket Launcher

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Afghan rocket launcher

Windows Start

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A revised version of the default Windows startup sound…

From the Dalai Lama

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There is an e-mail currently circulating the Internet entitled "Instructions for Life in the New Millennium from the Dalai Lama". It contains such platitudes as "When you lose, ...

Lack of Tact

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Tact Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, ...

Girlfriend remote

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Finally! Technology has come through with something really useful.
girlfriend remote

Titanic

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The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of England. It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is very excited. No expense has been ...

New Element Discovered

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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Monkey, Lizard, and a Crocodile

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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...

Terms and Conditions

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