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30 Years

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What a difference 30 years makes: 1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund 1972: KEG 2002: EKG ...

Blonde Joke 7

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A blonde is going on her first trip overseas. She drives all the way to Miami to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government official sees that she is visibly ...

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Redneck Luxuries

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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

Buddies

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Buddies, Bill Clinton and Gary Condit

51st steak

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Who said "What's all this fuss I hear about making Puerto Rico a steak?"

Caught!

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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the ...

If you steal a car, don't drink the yogurt...

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Thursday January 4 7:50 AM ET Car Thieves Drink HIV-Infected Blood RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Two members of a gang of Brazilian car thieves may have drank vials of ...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run

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Monday October 8 7:14 AM ET Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run ALBUQUERQUE (Reuters) - An Albuquerque policeman and his pilot face disciplinary measures after using a ...

Quick One 3

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing ...

A Redneck Christmas

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Iraqi Tech Support

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Iraqi tech support

French Horns

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They say Frenchmen are horny…

Merry Xmas Everyone... Yes, that's right, I said XMAS

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by Curtis Wiggins For all my dear Christian friends who have made an annaul tradition of getting bent this time of year about the use of the term "X-mas", please kindly consider ...

Redneck Fire Alarm

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25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

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1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

Apple Computer Announcement

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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...

Some of My Favorite Christmas Carols...

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"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection"  "Away in a Drunk Tank"  "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means"  "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected"  ...

Summer BBQ Season

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After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season.  Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...

Living Will

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While watching March Madness, my wife and I got into a conversation About life and death and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation, I told her that I ...

Haircut

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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. ...

 

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