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Quote of the week
"I think he's got quite the balls to open up a store nude.''
- Toronto city councilor George Mammoliti, referring to store owner
Malcolm Scott's practice ...
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Interesting but mindless trivia ...
Did you know that.....?
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
...
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A 93 year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim
suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...
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To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random ...
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Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take
a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim,
Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...
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After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...
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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a ...
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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus
-code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from
your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not
touch "Work" under any ...
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Little Johnny and Susie are only ten years old, but they're sure they're in
love and decided they wanted to get married.
Little Johnny bravely approached Susie's father and ...
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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when
game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are
now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car
with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer
at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) ...
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4/1/2001
San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge to officially become the TransAmerica
Bridge.
by contributing editor April Olfos
(SAN FRANCISCO-UPI) The city of San ...
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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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Steve Allen, Renaissance Man:
...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci
as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...
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Bill Clinton was walking along the White House fence when he came upon
a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of
age.
The group surrounded a dog. ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win"
sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming,
"I've won a motorhome! I've won a ...
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As most of you already know, former President Clinton's dog Buddy was killed when he ran out in front of an automobile. A nationwide search is underway to find a replacement for ...
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Never bring a knife to a gun fight...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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