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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
Viewed 15 times
Viewed 15 times
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer or wine in the fridge. ...
Viewed 15 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
Viewed 14 times
'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ ) Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware. Minutes after a boarding ...
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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
Viewed 14 times
Viewed 13 times
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
Viewed 13 times
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get ...
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If only it were this easy...
Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down
and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would ...
Viewed 13 times
There was a midget (little person) down in Texas whose testicles ached
almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him what the
problem was.
The doctor told ...
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As a TEXAN I thought I would share a few of the things I have learned in my 30 years of living in this Heaven on Earth located South of the Red River and North of the Rio Grande. I ...
Viewed 13 times
Bill of Rights restated
State Representative Mitchell Kaye of Georgia wrote the following:
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get ...
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Viewed 13 times
They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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In the seventh century, Queen Etheldrida of Northumbria developed a throat tumor, which she regarded as divine punishment for her life of extravagance. Before her death, she ...
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Viewed 13 times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY -
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you,
it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown,
BUT, it only ...
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Man Crashes Car As 50 Pagers Ring At Once
Friday January 15 4:37 AM ET
KIEV (Reuters) - A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for each member of
his staff as a New Year ...
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..No kudos from BugNet
Since 1994 the editors of BugNet have presented an award to a soft-
ware company for the year's best bug-fix performance. This year the
editors ...
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Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several Nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be ...
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A dictionary for software engineers:
Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta: Software ...
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[The following question was originally posed by Steven Wright.]
Question: If you strapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of a cat, which way down would it land?
[Well, ...
Viewed 13 times
How would our lifes be different if Microsoft built cars?
1. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
2. You would constantly be pressured to upgrade your car.
3. You ...
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