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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good ...
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When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your
nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy
businessman learned this the hard way after ordering
his nurses around ...
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Candidate Gives Viagra, Calls for Nation to Rise
BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - Promising to invigorate Colombians in the
struggle against war and corruption, a presidential ...
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New weapon in the war on terrorism...
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Lakefront property anyone?
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THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING, BUT AREN'T...
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"If I don't ...
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Life`s Mathematics ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = ...
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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little
boy, is your mother home?"
...
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A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it ...
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Every night, Joe would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He ...
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A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the ...
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A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle
me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the
boss told her to report for ...
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Martina Navratilovna won the 1994 Wimbledon match, and she is retiring
from tennis. An interviewer thought she might speak more freely now
that she is off the circuit, and ...
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The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME; the author who introduces the story swears it's true.
...
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"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection" "Away in a Drunk Tank" "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means" "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected" ...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang. The wife (undoubtedly
blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
moment And said, "How should I know, that's 200 ...
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DEAR TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my
Mom told me it was the best. ...
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A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding
bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull
mated 50 times ...
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Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon
after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she
remarries and over the following ...
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It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social ...
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A Floridian, a New Yorker, and a Canadian are in a bar one night having some
beers. The New Yorker drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the
air, pulls out a gun and ...
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If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now
be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.
With Worldcom, you ...
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