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Drinking on the Job
While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the
premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy.
Reasons for ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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BUMPER STICKERS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE
1. Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
2. Impotence... Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."
3. The ...
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John Cleese was recently asked on American TV what he thought the
differences between the English and the Americans were.
In reply he said that there were three differences: ...
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You can view all of the News of the Weird at http://www.newsoftheweird.com/
(We have removed actual News of the Weird items to avoid possible copyright infringement.)
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're ...
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"A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke" by Joseph Lucas
All electrical components and wiring harnesses depend on proper
circuit functioning, which is the transmission of ...
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A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says:
"Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!"
"No, no," says the ...
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The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
I'd rather die living than live dying.
In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your ...
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New weapon in the war on terrorism...
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Patient: "Huh? What? Where am I?"
Nurse: "You're in the hospital. You've been in a coma."
Patient: "How long was I in a coma?"
Nurse: "Ten years"
Patient: "Wow... ...
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One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man
of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding
they left for their ...
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1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window:
New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all ...
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A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice
evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was
left of his hair and he decided ...
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Top 10 Blond Inventions
1) The water-proof towel
2) Solar powered flashlight
3) Submarine screen door
4) A book on how to read
5) Inflatable dart board
6) A ...
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Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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Sean was lyin' on his deathbed with his lifelong friend by
his side.
"Paddy, me dear friend, ye remember that grand case o'
scotch we won at poker when we were in the ...
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There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Anderson, Jeremy S.
If you put a billion monkeys in ...
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