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( We take you now to the Oval Office... )
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: ...
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"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." - Anonymous "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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A paratrooper calls his dad after his first day of paratrooping. His dad
asks "So, did you jump?" He says "I will get to that."
When he was airborne the drill captain opened ...
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Viewed 9 times
They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. ...
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Happy Jan. 20th... Which is also known as...
Feast Day of St. Paula the Bearded
According to fourth-century legend, Paula was pursued by an enraptured youth into a church, ...
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One Monday morning, Little Johnny's kindergarten
teacher, Miss Needlemeyer, decided to have a special
show-and-tell session in which each child could tell about
something ...
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While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher (whose hand had caught in a gate while working cattle), a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. ...
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Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
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Mike never dreamed that slowly cruising on his Harley Davidson Fat-Boy motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did Mike suspect. Mike ...
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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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I am a teapot
Here is handle, here is spout
I am a teapot
Mary had a lamb
Followed her to school one day
Children laughed and played
There were three blind ...
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News services are reporting that Osama bin Laden has been captured by U.S.
Special Forces.
In a covert operation, the entire country of Afghanistan was sprayed with
Viagra ...
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It has been reported that bin Laden has been recruiting suicide bombers from India. We now have proof of a new wave of attacks from the sky but there is little to fear, the ...
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A revised version of the default Windows startup sound…
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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little
boy, is your mother home?"
...
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Doesn't this make your job seem better?
A C-141 transport aircraft was preparing for departure from a base in
Thule, Greenland. They had been waiting for the truck to arrive ...
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1. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
2. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed ...
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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
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