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Accuracy Movement Spreading to Other Memorials

Accuracy Movement Spreading to Other Memorials Jan 17, 2002 (NEW YORK) The New York City Fire Department commissioned a statue of the famous photo of three firemen hoisting an ...

Quick Ones 6

Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A: A cherry float. Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? A: 1 US leader Q: What did the sign on the ...

MacGregor the Fence Builder

A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by ...

Sex in the dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife ...

The Paratrooper

A paratrooper calls his dad after his first day of paratrooping. His dad asks "So, did you jump?" He says "I will get to that." When he was airborne the drill captain opened ...

PMS

Husbands, please take note! Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. ...

Quote of the Week (be careful when returning gifts)

"No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there!" - Marvin Tippery, to his sister Judy Money, upon hearing that she had just returned the decorative box he gave her for ...

Merry Christmas from Your Mother

Merry Christmas From Mom Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married, Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe or eat. The ...

Politically Correct Holiday Wishes (with warrantee)

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, ...

How many women with PMS...

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else around here knows HOW to change a light bulb! They ...

Dealing with Customers...

For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this is for you. An award should go to the United Airlines agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while ...

The Cruise

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, ...

Chestnuts roasting on a open fire...

Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer ...

25 Proverbs to a Healthier Life

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...

Barbie's letter to Santa

Dear Santa:  Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...

Good news on proper dieting

Here is some good news on proper dieting... Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and ...

Detroit Lions News Flash

Lions football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and noticed a suspicious ...

If...

If you take an Oriental man and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? ...

Things You Won't See On Hallmark Cards

OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... INSIDE: That you're not here to ruin it for me. OUTSIDE: If I get only one thing for Christmas... INSIDE: I ...

Why Life is Easy for Men

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview Your orgasms are always real Your last name stays put The garage is all yours Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow ...

'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team

'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team  by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ )  Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware.  Minutes after a boarding ...

Thanksgiving Mistake

Mrs. Ashley telephoned the headquarters of the infantry near Great Oaks, her ancestral home. "This is Mrs. Chauncey Ashley the Third, and with Thanksgiving coming up, I thought ...

A Man and His Tool

A guy walks into a doctor's office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I've ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can't stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?" ...

Little Johnny (getting married)

Little Johnny and Susie are only ten years old, but they're sure they're in love and decided they wanted to get married. Little Johnny bravely approached Susie's father and ...

 

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