Humor
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GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, You're it.
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red ...
Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your
nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy
businessman learned this the hard way after ordering
his nurses around ...
It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the
kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.
The first little girl says: ...
Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...
A 12 year old girl discovered a new way to deal with flashers. According to the Virginian-Pilot, when the man exposed himself she simply reached out, grabbed is zipper, and ...
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked ...
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so
he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife,
Heather, had already awakened though, and she
was downstairs preparing ...
Right before Christmas I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was ...
Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your ...
"What about Pepe LePew? His chasing of unwilling females surely sends the
message to children that's it's OK to stalk [women] and attack them if they
resist. Plus, because he's ...
According to the British newspaper The Mirror, Susie Stephens, the world's leading expert on road safety, was recently in St. Louis coordinating a conference on, as one might ...
Here's one you can debate at church:
There were three good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Fathers business .
2. He lived at home until he was 33. ...
Father O'Reily woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an
exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just
had to play golf. So... he told the Associate ...
An elderly Florida couple, Sam and Bessie, are vacationing in Las Vegas.
Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale
one day, he buys them, wears ...
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies." He responded.
"Oh. Killing ...
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty
bad. The morgue needed someone to identify the
body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer were
sent for. Daryl went in ...
Three sons left home, went out on their own, and prospered. Getting
Back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their
elderly mother.
The first ...
1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolat"
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed ...
PLANT CITY, FL - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J ...
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is ...
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool ...
"A cageful of drunken monkeys is like a cocktail party."
- Frank Ervin, a professor of psychiatry at McGill University, who is
currently studying what happens when you liquor ...
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car, get tired.
Man who run behind car, get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
...
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