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When I was born - I was BLACK
When I grow up - I am BLACK
When I am sick - I am BLACK
When I go out in the sun - I am BLACK
When I go out in the cold - I am BLACK
...
There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby ...
Patient: "Huh? What? Where am I?"
Nurse: "You're in the hospital. You've been in a coma."
Patient: "How long was I in a coma?"
Nurse: "Ten years"
Patient: "Wow... ...
Comedians' Take on Election Events
By The Associated Press
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'':
"They had trucks in Florida bringing the ballots to Tallahassee. In fact, ...
A gastroenterologist/proctologist claims that these are actual comments made
by his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly ...
One day a florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you, I am doing community service." ...
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates, and are comparing stories on how they had died.
"I froze to death," said the first woman.
"You froze to death, how horrible!" ...
Some of you have voiced that Engineers are a different breed....Perhaps the
following will help you understand us.....
Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering ...
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
...
Billy, a good, normal ten-year-old boy, and his parents set down to select a summer camp for Billy. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the ...
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer
guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Anderson, Jeremy S.
If you put a billion monkeys in ...
Judy, the editor of trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer.
So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave clicked a
couple of buttons and ...
FIVE REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE
5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established ...
President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried.
"My people's favorite form of birth control! ...
Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me Father for I
have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest says, "Is
that you, Tommy?" "Yes, Father, it is I." ...
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession
box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention,
but still the man says ...
Brian was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. ...
A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi
arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck.
The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a ...
A consultant dies and goes to heaven. He reaches the pearly
gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners
and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter ...
WHERE DO CONSULTANTS GO WHEN THEY DIE?
There once was a consultant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made ...
Top Ten Things a Consultant Shouldn't Tell a Client
10. That was my first guess as well, but then I really thought about it.
9. You should see the hotel I'm staying at.
...
15. Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
14. Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
13. Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
...
Last week I went to a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr.
Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology. He gave an example of A
coping skill for job stress which I would ...
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