Humor
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A man returns from travelling overseas and is feeling very ill. He goes to
see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital in to undergo
tests. The man wakes up after ...
At a small airport terminal somewhere in Texas, three strangers awaiting
their shuttle flight start conversing about the recent world events. The
strangers were of varying ...
Carly Simon - You're So Varicose Vein
The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly ...
A while back, there were two kingdoms situated close by each other. One
kingdom had a powerful king, and the other had a relatively weak king. The
difference, or so everybody ...
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of
her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers
the window, and she says ...
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home
reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and
demonstrated with her hands, the ...
Once again, Beloit College has found new ways to make us feel old...
Beloit, Wis. - In the coming weeks, a new generation of students will
arrive on campuses throughout the ...
George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see
from the bedroom window. ...
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the
mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need
repair or correction. The ...
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not ...
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"
What type of bra?" asked the ...
Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
CLOTHES WHEN THE ...
Two women go out one Friday night, without their husbands.
As they head back home, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. The only place to stop was a ...
While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle in
the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and
with a smile said ...
GOOD:
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand ...
The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked
to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of
the winning entries:
...
1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
...
Secrets for a man to lead a happy life:
1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money
3. It is ...
What Gender Is It?
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can
always see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears ...
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the
windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all
travelling at maximum velocity. ...
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"
* Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
* Why is a ...
If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now
be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.
With Worldcom, you ...
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her ...
THE GEOGRAPHIC ANATOMY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman ...
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