News of the Day

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News, current events, general weirdness - ripped from today's headlines

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What happens when you clone a Brazilian cow?

Wednesday, May 1, 2002 (2 posts)
Answer: You get a bull "He may not be the clone we hoped for but he'd at least be a clone." - Jose Visintin, chief veterinarian on Brazilian ...

And we were worried about MSG...

Monday, December 4, 2023 (14 posts)
BEIJING (AP) - A Beijing restaurant-owner was sentenced to 18 months in prison for sprinkling ground opium poppy over a spicy fish dish in an effort to ensure ...

Quote of the Day

Wednesday, March 9, 2022 (3 posts)
"I won't be getting my tits out because it's not about them this time, it's about more serious issues." - Ilona "Cicciolina" Staller, former ...

For people with way too much time on their hands...

Ever wonder what would happen if you played the "Hamster Dance" backwards? Wonder no more... http://www.greymatter.org/satanichamsterdance/

Johnnie Cochran sues NASCAR

Tuesday, May 11, 2021 (1 post)
Really... could we make this up? http://espn.go.com/rpm/wc/2002/0408/1364803.html

Picture of an elephant playing fetch...

[IMAGE]

Suicidal Squirrels

Friday, April 26, 2002 (1 post)
Tony Russomanno of KPIX TV reports that at Stanford Unirversity "the campus squirrels have apparently taken to bizarre suicidal death leaps into the path of ...

Google now available in Bork, Bork, Bork!

The official language of the Swedish Chef... http://www.google.com/intl/xx-bork/

Dyslexic Hearing

Friday, April 26, 2002 (1 post)
A newspaper reporter from the Wichita Eagle reported that, among other things, former first lady Barbara Bush mentioned that she had had three breast sizes ...

Problems and Solutions

Friday, April 26, 2002 (1 post)
The AP reports that in Vietnam they are having a problem with an increasing rat population. It seems the number of rats is increasing because the ...

Free Speech lawsuit over "Bong Hits 4 Jesus"

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) - A student who was suspended from Juneau high school after displaying a banner that urged "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" sued the principal ...

Greenpeace now SUPPORTS hunting whales

Monday, April 15, 2024 (2 posts)
Directly from the greenpeace website... "We had some interesting contact with Inuit people there. Two parties came out to support what we were doing. They ...

Google now available in Klingon

It is a good day to search... http://www.google.com/intl/xx-klingon/

The Return of the YUGO

Malcolm Bricklin, the American entrepreneur who first imported the Yugo to the U.S. in 1985, says that he has signed a deal with Zastava Motor Works in Serbia ...

Boo-Boo... Then and Now

Then... [IMAGE] Now... ...

How NOT to handle your first DUI

Thursday, April 25, 2002 (1 post)
According to the Associated Press, Richard M. Schenk appeared in the York County (PA) Common Pleas Court to apply for a probationary program for first-time DUI ...

News Flash - Teens have sex even when told not to!

Wednesday, April 24, 2002 (1 post)
from ABC news - "There still is no evidence whether programs that push sexual abstinence prevent teen sex, pregnancy or disease, the government reported." ...

Why ships are "she"

Monday, June 12, 2023 (5 posts)
"Ships have a soul, If I remember my history, they are female because originally the ship was the only woman allowed at sea and was treated with deference and ...

Why kids think adults are stupid...

Thursday, April 27, 2023 (2 posts)
Variety reports that a proposed 13-episode weekly series, entitled "Ultimate Dodgeball," is getting shopped to various cable networks, with MTV being a likely ...

Proof that cable TV is completely out of ideas...

Wednesday, April 24, 2002 (1 post)
(Reuters) G4, a new cable channel devoted exclusively to video games that went live on Wednesday, plans to broadcast a live game of "Pong" - widely considered ...

Muppets called to testify before congress

Elmo appeared before Congress to testify about Bert's alleged connection with Osama bin Laden and the al Queada terrorist network. Here Elmo pauses to ...

Sioux City Iowa

Tuesday, July 12, 2022 (2 posts)
The airport designation is "SUX". According to the Des Moines Register, no one at the airport currently knows why the facility was designated "SUX". ...

A really sweet story about an old man, his dog, and beer...

Monday, September 9, 2024 (40 posts)
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2002181592,00.html

Goofy-Ass Quote of the Day

Thursday, November 28, 2024 (91 posts)
"Rome built beautiful temples and embraced all religions." - John Chuckman, YellowTimes.org well okay, if by "embraced" you mean "fed to the lions" then ...