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THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY WITH A HALLMARK
"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder: What the f_ck was I thinking"
"Congratulations on your ...
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WOMEN BASHING JOKES.
There's been tons of Men Bashing jokes, so in the interest of fair play...
Q. Why did God give men penises ?
A. So we'd have at least one way to ...
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A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer. "I know," he says, they say 'you can't take ...
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But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...
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Better than Nostradamus? <IMAGE>
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Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson
Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of
procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to ...
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The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of England.
It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is very excited. No expense has been ...
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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...
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Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
CLOTHES WHEN THE ...
Viewed 11 times
It has been reported that bin Laden has been recruiting suicide bombers from India. We now have proof of a new wave of attacks from the sky but there is little to fear, the ...
Viewed 11 times
WHAT IS A CAT ?
1) Cats do what they want
2) They rarely listen to you
3) They're totally unpredictable
4) They whine when they are not happy
5) When you want to ...
Viewed 11 times
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.
God addressed Al first. "Al, what do ...
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A man asks his wife the following questions after a long discussion
about her life if he were to die before her.
Husband: "Honey, if I were to die before you, would you ...
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One Monday morning, Little Johnny's kindergarten
teacher, Miss Needlemeyer, decided to have a special
show-and-tell session in which each child could tell about
something ...
Viewed 11 times
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and ...
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Some WIN95 humor....
Bill Gates dies in a car accident.
He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not ...
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Two blondes are going to Disneyland. They were driving down the freeway and saw a sign that said "Disneyland left", so they turned around and went home.
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MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church
By Hank Vorjes
VATICAN CITY (AP) - In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square
this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican ...
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News services are reporting that Osama bin Laden has been captured by U.S.
Special Forces.
In a covert operation, the entire country of Afghanistan was sprayed with
Viagra ...
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Every U down in U-ville liked U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of U-ville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody ...
Viewed 10 times
The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that
homosexuality is an abomination according to ...
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