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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say

10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:


10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"

9) Duct tape won't fix that

8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's

7) Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

6) I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

5) My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

4) I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

3) Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

2) I didn't know that could be fried.


And the #1 thing you've never heard a southerner say:

1) Checkmate.

hey f*ckface just cause some people from the south r dumb doesnt make us all dumb,and we dont frie everything,retard

Thanks dumb Southerner for furthering the stereotype that Southerners are dumb by trying to recant the fact that Southerners are dumb. Try spell check next time.

I found this list funny, yet more Southerners than one would think are quite knowledgeable of Shakespeare, and players of the strategic game Chess. Also, some have been known to drink a Heineken from time to time. But, it is true that no self-respecting Southerner, or human being, would ever drink Zima... unless of course, it were free.