News of the Day
News, current events, general weirdness - ripped from today's headlines
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Tuesday, April 29, 2003 (1 post)
Kelley Marie Ferguson had a tough life. Her parents dragged her along on a 10 day cruise to Hawaii. All Kelley wanted to do was stay home so she ...
Tuesday, April 29, 2003 (1 post)
"We see no problem in having Mr. Sahhaf join us. First of all, Sahhaf is not on the list of the 55 Iraqis most wanted by the Americans, and he won international ...
Tuesday, November 20, 2018 (2 posts)
"Before this I was a moderately well-known character actress. Now, I'm almost famous."
- Janeane Garofalo, commenting on public reaction to her ...
Friday, April 25, 2003 (1 post)
Germany's Wolfgang Clement, who serves as that country's Minister of Economics and Minister of Labor, has other talents not usually seen in ...
Friday, April 25, 2003 (2 posts)
Britain's Channel 4 recently completed a documentary on Jennifer "J-Lo" Lopez, according to The Sun (UK). The title of the documentary? "Behind ...
Friday, April 25, 2003 (1 post)
"I doubt he'll be coming to the ranch any time soon."
- President George W. Bush, referring to French President Jacques Chirac.
Thursday, April 24, 2003 (1 post)
In a recent interview, Madonna said, "We as Americans are completely obsessed and wrapped up in a lot of the wrong values - looking good, having cash in the ...
Thursday, April 24, 2003 (1 post)
An unidentified man robbed 15,000 euros from a Greek bank on the isle of Rhodes, according to AFP. Unfortunately for him, he was unable to make a quick ...
Thursday, April 24, 2003 (1 post)
"It's a veritable chromatic coup d'etat."
- Alfonso Pecoraro Scanio, president of the Italian political party that called for a national referendum ...
Monday, April 28, 2003 (2 posts)
The AP reported Tuesday that PETA is offering the town of Hamburg, New York, $15,000 to change the name of the town - to "Veggieburg".
Thursday, April 24, 2003 (1 post)
Robin Loftin appeared in traffic court in Carlsbad, New Mexico, on charges of driving with a suspended license, according to the AP. As is customary, when ...
Thursday, April 24, 2003 (1 post)
"I'd love to do it, I think I have a lot of insight."
- O.J. Simpson, commenting on reports that he has been approached by an unnamed TV organization ...
Thursday, April 24, 2003 (1 post)
When ABC News reported that Alan Greenspan had been hospitalized, the closed captioning read that he was "in the hospital for an enlarged prostitute", according ...
Wednesday, April 23, 2003 (1 post)
AFP reports today that the increased radioactivity around Chernobyl has had an odd side-effect. It is causing worms in the area to have more sex. ...
A while back I wrote a brief commentary about Aage Jensen, the Danish pizzeria owner who refused to serve French and German customers as a show of support for ...
Wednesday, April 23, 2003 (1 post)
"Whoo whoo whoo oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh ooh ooh oooh oooh."
- Jane Goodall, primate expert, during a meeting at the State Department. ...
Tuesday, April 22, 2003 (1 post)
"We call them 'Russians' now, Charlie."
- Colin Powell, Secretary of State, in an interview with Charlie Rose, when Rose referred to the Russians ...
Okay, maybe it's not completely "universal", but it's already in use in Afghanistan...
full story: ...
Madonna, and her record label Warner Bros., had a plan to thwart file-sharing of tracks from her latest CD American Life . The plan was to flood ...
Wednesday, June 22, 2022 (2 posts)
"The success of this occupation can only be judged 50 years from now. If [they] at that time have a stable, prosperous democracy, then we shall have succeeded." ...
Tuesday, August 15, 2023 (5 posts)
"The realization that one has just goofed in front of more than 200,000 readers produces a uniquely sickening brand of nausea."
- James Scott, reporter for ...
Saturday, July 6, 2019 (2 posts)
Last week we reported the case of a teenager who was blinded when a potato launcher unexpectedly fired as he was looking down the barrel. Had it been ...
Monday, April 21, 2003 (1 post)
"We finally found a way to teach knuckleheads to keep their asses down. Before, the only way they really learned was to get shot."
- James Dunnigan, ...
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