Avoid Bran Muffins
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died
in an accident. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due
to her interest in health food, and exercise. When they reached the pearly
gates St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a
beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and
aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home
backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the
course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?". Peter's reply, "This is
heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with
the cuisine of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied
with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked
timidly. Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you
like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick.
This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat
and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to
calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife
and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran
muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
