The Manbottle Library
The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Best Fruit Cake Ever

Best Fruit Cake Ever


Best Fruit Cake Ever



1 cup butter

1 tsp. salt

1 cup sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup dried fruit

nuts

1 tsp. baking powder

1 or 2 quarts whiskey

1 tsp. baking soda


Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, ect. Check the whiskey again, as it must be just right. To make sure that the whiskey is of the highest quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the whiskey is of the finest quality. Cry another tup. Open 2nd quart if necessary. Add 2 large leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey again, thecking for tonsicisity. Then sift 2 cups of salt, or anything, it really doesn't matter. Sample the whiskey. Sift ½ pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find, and wix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the whiskey again, and bo to ged.



This compliation is copyright © 2000-2014
Wiggins Professional Services, Inc.

Individual items contained herein are the
copyright of their respective owners.