HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car
with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer
at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't
disguise your voice.
3) Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your garbage can on your desk and
label it "IN."
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine
addictions, switch to espresso.
6) In the memo field of all your checks,
write 'for sexual favors.'
7) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
8) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
9) Sing along at the opera.
10) Call the psychic hotline and don't say
anything.
11) When leaving the zoo, start running
towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
12) Tell your friends, "It's not the voices
in my head that bother me, it's the voices
in your head that do."
13) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to
the economy, we are going to have to let
one of you go."
