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Added 10/2/1998
A variation on "Be all that you can be"!
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the ...
Added 10/1/1998
A little boy came down to breakfast. Since they lived on a farm, his
mother asked if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him he can't ...
Added 9/30/1998
ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS
* We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
* Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a ...
Added 9/30/1998
1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
2. Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances ...
Added 9/29/1998
These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original
spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University Texas Medical
Branch ' Galveston...
My son is under a ...
Added 9/24/1998
How Old Do You Feel?
To get an idea of the lives of those entering college this fall, read on......... and try not to laugh...............
1. The people who are starting ...
Added 9/23/1998
Here's a Riddle for You:
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
The ...
Added 9/22/1998
NOT SO FAMOUS QUOTES
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. when I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure, no matter how long somebody stands there picking the
locks, ...
Added 9/22/1998
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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
**********************************************************
The Center for ...
Added 9/19/1998
Fantasy Island
A ship goes out to sea and sinks in a storm. Six
people (5 men and 1 woman) survive by using a raft to
float to a deserted island.
After spending several ...
Added 9/19/1998
A policeman on horseback is at a traffic light and next to him is a kid on
his bike. The policeman smiles down at the kid and says, "Nice bike you
got there. Santa bring that ...
Added 9/13/1998
An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall. He
called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I
am a history buff, and I would ...
Added 9/13/1998
Serenity Prayer
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I cannot accept;
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those ...
Added 9/13/1998
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
as ...
Added 9/10/1998
A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it ...
Added 9/1/1998
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a
prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist
University, English 44A, SMU, ...
Added 9/1/1998
HOW TO TELL WHEN YOUR FOOD IS SPOILED
======================================
Whether you are a mom who cooks for many, a bachelor who cooks
on rare occasions for himself, ...
Added 8/31/1998
NEW MATH
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960: ...
Added 8/31/1998
TRUE FUNNY STORIES
-
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she ...
Added 8/29/1998
Ok, the story behind this.... There's a man who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, ...
Added 8/28/1998
These quotes were taken from actual performance evaluations:
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig."
"His men would follow him ...
Added 8/28/1998
Taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in the July
21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine:
1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."
...
Added 8/27/1998
You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...
1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You decide to re-organize your family into a ...
Added 8/24/1998
* What do Monica Lewinsky and Soda Pop machines have in common?
Answer: They both have slots which say "Insert 'Bill"
here."
* What help wanted ad did Monica Lewinsky ...
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