News of the Day

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News, current events, general weirdness - ripped from today's headlines

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Where is John Belushi when you need him?

Actual headline... LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Marauding bees held shoppers hostage inside a Los Angeles liquor store for two hours on Thanksgiving while ...

Crotch Nuzzling is not assault

Monday, December 2, 2002 (1 post)
This just in from Sydney Morning Herald... The Australian Supreme Court has ruled that crotch nuzzling by a dog does not constitute an assault. Said ...

Quote of the Day

Saturday, October 12, 2019 (4 posts)
"Most little kids actually like Santa." - Robert Doyle, opposing the recent ban of Santa Claus in many Australian kindergartens. He further went on ...

Quote of the Day

Monday, December 2, 2002 (1 post)
"None of my clients are alive anymore." - Maurice Goldstein, 91 year old lawyer from Jacksonville, Florida, citing the reason for his recently announced ...

I always thought that was just an expression...

Full Story: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=583&ncid=583&e=8&u=/nm/20021127/od_nm/life_cambodia_nail_dc

Quote of the Day

Tuesday, November 26, 2002 (1 post)
"The only reliable international inspectors for Iraq are members of the 101st Airborne Division." - Ken Adelman, USA Today

Make up your own joke...

Monday, November 18, 2019 (1 post)
[IMAGE]

No "Christmas" in Toronto

Monday, November 25, 2002 (1 post)
Toronto city staff created a bit of a controversy last week when they erected a "holiday tree" outside of City Hall. That's right, not a "Christmas ...

(Politically Incorrect) Website of the Day

Friday, September 8, 2023 (6 posts)
A satirical look at how white people demonstrate to black people just how "not racist" they can be... http://blackpeopleloveus.com/

Safety Tip - Do not replace broken table legs with artillery shells.

Monday, November 25, 2002 (1 post)
You would think that would go without saying, but apparently not. Reuters reports that eight members of the Miskovic family of Danilovgrad, Montenegro, ...

Quote of the Day

Monday, November 25, 2002 (3 posts)
"Apart from the final two days, it was such a great experience and I had a wonderful time." - Miss England, Daniella Luan, speaking on her experiences at ...

Quote of the Day (the dangers of laptops)

Friday, November 22, 2002 (1 post)
"[This] story should be taken as a serious warning against use of a laptop in a literal sense." - Claes-Gorn Ostenson, in a letter to the medical journal, ...

What the f_ck is going on in Nigeria?

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=574&ncid=721&e=1&u=/nm/20021122/wl_nm/religion_nigeria_missworld_dc

Website Pick

Mezco Toyz, at http://www.mezco.net/ Producing toys based on popular childrens movies, such as "Reservoir Dogs", "Night of the Living Dead", and "Animal ...

Michael Bloomberg's new plan for the homeless

Thursday, November 21, 2002 (1 post)
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has a new plan to deal with the homeless in his city. According to Reuters, he plans to house them in cruise ...

Quote of the Day

Thursday, November 21, 2002 (1 post)
"A comedy doesn't have to be historically accurate, but it must at least be humorous." - German daily Die Welt, in a review of the recent German comedy ...

Quote of the Day

Wednesday, November 20, 2002 (2 posts)
"My mommie used to do the loudest farts in the world." - Ozzie Osbourne, in an interview with Jay Leno

Why little Johnny thinks there are whales in Lake Michigan...

Monday, November 18, 2002 (1 post)
If you kids come home and tell you about the whales in Lake Michigan, don't be too hard on them, they probably learned it in school. The AP reports ...

Quote of the Day (it's a southern thing...)

Monday, November 18, 2002 (1 post)
"See Rock City. I've never seen the son of a bitch. Honest." - Lewis Grizzard. (This was the last entry on his list of things to accomplish in ...

(Another) Quote of the Day

Thursday, November 14, 2002 (1 post)
"My client is a simple man and [the Pope's] comments on family values and the importance of being a Christian really affected him in a kind of miraculous ...

Unclear on the Concept...

From Reuters... The man noticed on a visit to the bathroom in the restaurant in Arvika, Sweden, that all the toilet seats had been removed. When he ...

Haven't you always wanted to do something like this...

Thursday, November 14, 2002 (2 posts)
Matthew Mokanyk, of Traverse City, Michigan, found himself in a legal dispute with his landlord, Powerhouse Gym. (He was leasing office space from the ...

Odd...

[IMAGE] TRANSLATION: On April 17, 1967, nothing ...

George W. Bush Quotes

Thursday, November 14, 2002 (1 post)
Recently added to the "Oxford Dictionary of Phrase, Saying and Quotation"... "We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen." "To ...