Wisdom
1. The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
2. Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
3. Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.
4. I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
5. Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
6. God made pot. Man made beer. Whom do you trust?
The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
7. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
8. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
9. At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
10. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
11. Make love, not war.-Hell, do both, get married!
Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
12. God is dead. -Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. -God
The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.
13. If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
Revolution Books. New York, New York.
14. A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
15. JESUS SAVES But wouldn't it be better if He had invested?
* Men's restroom, American University, Washington, D.C.
16. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
17. Express Lane: Five beers or less
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix,AZ.
18. You're too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.
19. No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.
20. What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
* Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, Kentuck
