Warnings That Should Be On Beer Labels
Warnings That Should Be On Beer Labels
1. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
2. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
an ass.
3. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want
to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to
thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 AM.
6. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your pants.
7. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you
can't remember).
8. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead and knees.
9. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
Chuck.
10. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
11. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing with you.
12. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps
of time may seem to disappear.
13. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
