Tarzan
When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was very, very
attracted to him, and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"Tarzan not know sex," he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use soft hole in tree trunk."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you
how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the
ground and spread her legs wide.
"Here," she said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer to get a better look, got
an enormous erection and gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane
rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What did you do
that for?"
Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels."