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The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Ponderables

Ponderables


... THINGS ON WHICH TO PONDER:


* Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

* Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

* Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

* Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

* Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

* Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

* An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

* There is always death and taxes. However death doesn't get worse every year.

* People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

* It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

* I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

* Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

* Indecision is the key to flexibility.

* It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

* If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

* In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

* My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

* I am having an out of money experience.

* I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

* I am in shape. Round is a shape.

* A day without sunshine is like night.

* I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

* You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

* One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

* It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

* The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

* Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

* Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever!

* Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Often, age comes alone.

* Life not only begins at forty; it begins to show.

* You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stopped laughing.



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