What's your Southern Sign
What's Your "Southern" Sign? Some of us (especially Southerners) are
pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what we
need are "Southern" symbols:
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside.
Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his
life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon
Pies.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make
something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In
dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius.
Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface
of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of
everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you
had some inner hunger. You never give up and never stop trying even if
the masses hate you.
MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a
cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round
are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get
remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might
be the year to think about aerobics. Or - maybe not.
POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency
to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes
you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This
strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for
you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems
actually running you over.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always
hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the
mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room.
You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have
very, very good heads. Crawfish prefer their pie served with jambalaya
and filet gumbo.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the
"melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those
round them. Collards make good social workers, sychologists, and
baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are
Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a
lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's
whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy
people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface
of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle
together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so
maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?
Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you
can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately,
those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that
your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably
affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear.
You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a
certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be
sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with
everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the
vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can
sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do
with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually
quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots,
fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with
today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about
today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior
patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is
another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.
