The Soap Incident ....
For anyone who spends any time at all in hotels...
"What to do with Hotel Soap"
Ever have one of those days?
The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a
London hotel and one of it's guests. The Hotel ended up submitting
the letters to the London Sunday Times.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please
remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine
chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish
as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put
ontop of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind.
This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the
management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid-I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found
you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.
I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on
the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them.
S. Berman
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which
we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in
your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was.
I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't
remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the
medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to
when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further
assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that
you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept
my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints
please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension
1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the
reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only
asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of
soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in
today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet
along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf.
In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you
doing this to me?
S. Berman
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your
room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance,
please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room
including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call
the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I
cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maid are
instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room.
The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies
for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night
and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I
want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of
soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my
bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I
personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3
Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about
the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had
returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays.
I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was
able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.
As of today I possess
On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.
On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than
4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not
in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.
One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am
keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
