Quotes
"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we
were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot
live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
-- Heather Whitestone, Miss Alabama 1994, in the Miss USA contest, in
response to the question "If you could live forever, would you and why?"
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I
can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all
those flies and death and stuff."
-- Maria Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed you've lost a very important part of your
life."
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for Federal
Antismoking Campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky Basketball Forward
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country."
-- Marion Berry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"I'm not going to have some reporter pawing through our papers. We are the
president."
-- Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies Manager, Danny Ozark (most likely quoting Yogi
Berra).
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it."
-- Al Gore, Then Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Dan Quayle, Then Vice President
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra Testimony
"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
-- Joe Theisman, former NFL football quarterback
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- Bill Clinton, Then President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, Then Vice President
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-- Keppel Enderbery, Australian cabinet minister
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received
notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is
a change in your circumstances."
-- notice from Department of Social Services, Greenville, SC
"If somebody has a bad heart they can plug this jack in at night as they go
to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next
morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
