The Manbottle Library
The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  New  :  Quick Ones 7

Quick Ones 7


I don't usually pass on news like this. I know you are busy; but sometimes we have to pause and truly remember what life is about, so I pass on this sad, sad news. There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died.

What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They'd put his left leg in and....well, you know the rest.

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She hates sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up

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It was announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox and they are going to market reproductive organs.

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And Moses looked upon the Lord and said: "We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off our WHAT?!"

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Women are like small children. You bring a new one home and the ones already there resent it.

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Q. Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin?

A. It won't work and you can't fire it.

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I'm so depressed... I went to the Dr. today and he refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. Said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

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A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing furiously. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will. He said, "Will, what will ? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite."

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During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?" "I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then. Just tell my wife!"



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