More Government Labels on Products
The board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze
bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of pounding a pint or
two...
1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with
breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
an asshole.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR
HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like
thith.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss
what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas
party.
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell ever happened to your pants anyway.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't
remember)
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
Psycho.
