Kids Say... (part 3)
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."
-----
My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having
a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for
fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class was
the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to
the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building
materials for his home. She said, "And so the pig went up to the man
with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but might I
have some of that straw with which to build my house?"
Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! He said 'Holy
smokes! A talking pig!"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
-----
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
Father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
-----
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown
had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?," gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him."
-----
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
-----
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two
boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
-----
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher. She's dead."
-----
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."
-----
For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the
mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The
six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment.
Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever
has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
-----
A kindergarten teacher had a pupil tell her he had found a frog. She
inquired as to whether it was alive or dead.
Dead," she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked.
"Because I pissed in his ear," said the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?" squealed the teacher in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst.' He
didn't move.
