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Jobs I Have Done


My first job was working in an orange juice factory,

but I got canned...

couldn't concentrate.



Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,

but I just couldn't hack it,

so they gave me the ax.



After that I tried to be a tailor,

but I just wasn't suited for it,

mainly because it was a sew-sew job.



Next I tried working in a muffler factory,

but that was too exhausting.



Then I tried to be a chef,

I figured it would add a little spice to my life,

but I just didn't have the thyme.



I attempted to be a deli worker,

but any way I sliced it,

I couldn't cut the mustard.



My best job was being a musician,

but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.



I studied a long time to become a doctor,

but I didn't have any patience.



Next was a job in a shoe factory I tried,

but I just didn't fit in.



I became a professional fisherman,

but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.



I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,

but the work was just too draining.



So then I got a job in a workout center,

but they said I wasn't fit for the job.



After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian,

but there was no future in it.



My last job was working at Starbucks,

but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.



SO I RETIRED AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!



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