Idiots...
IDIOTS ARE EVERYWHERE. HERE ARE SOME PLACES TO FIND THEM:
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction
unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit
card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I
signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that
signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have
it, they matched.
IDIOTS & GEOGRAPHY
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I
described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss
said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just
kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of
Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety
Handbook for Employees:
"Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of
the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being
hit by cars. He no longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of
a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they
have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a
woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've
got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"
IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab
partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to
her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual
amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He
said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
