Funny Computer Virus
Be on the lookout for the following computer viruses:
* Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
* Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons.
* Paul Revere Virus: Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2
if by C:{{}backslash}.
* Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus: Instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 Meg.
* Ollie North Virus: Plays a patriotic WAV file while it shreds your files.
* Joey Buttafuaco Virus: Only attacks minor files.
* Lorena Bobbit Virus: Your hard disc turns into a 3.5 floppy.
* Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
* Jane Fonda Virus: Attacks your hard drive's FAT.
* Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and
then slowly expands to 300MB.
* AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
getting.
* MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
much for the AT&T Virus.
* Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a virus, instead refers to
itself as an "electronic micro organism."
* Ross Perot Virus Activates every component in your system, just before the
whole darn thing quits.
* Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It will be
back.
* Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
* Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of your computer.
* Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.
* Congressional Virus #1: The computer locks up, screen splits
erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for
the problem.
* Congressional Virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
* Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
* Freudian Virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.
Or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.
* PBS Virus: Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
* Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Your programs can never be found again.
* LAPD Virus: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and erases them in self-defense.
