Checking into Heaven
An old lady dies and goes to heaven and is chatting with St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful
blood-curdling screams.
"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's only someone having
the holes bored in their shoulder blades for the wings."
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the
conversation.
Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling screams. "Oh my
God," says the old lady, "now what is happening?"
"Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having their heads
drilled to fit the halo."
"I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm off down to hell."
"You can't go there," says St. Peter, "You'll be raped and sodomized."
"Yes, but I've already got the holes for that," says the old lady.