As if you needed an excuse...
Here's ten excuses for you not to come to work tomorrow:
1) The voices told me to clean my gun.
2) Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
3) I have contracted an attention deficit disorder, hey how about those
dolphins?
4) I can't come to work today because I am stalking my former boss for
firing me for not showing up to work.
5) When I got up this morning I took two prozac with exlax I can't get off
the john but I really feel good about it.
6) I prefer to remain an enigma.
7) I am extremely sensitive to a rise in interest rates.
8) I have a rare case of 48 hour projectile leprosy.
9) I am stuck in a blood pressure machine at the Food Lion.
10) I set 1/2 my clocks ahead an hour and 1/2 behind an hour and now I am
stuck in a space-time continuum.
