Kids...
While taking a routine vandalism report at an
elementary school, I was interrupted by a little
girl about six years old. Looking up and down at
my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes,"
I answered and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should
ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's
right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as
she extended her foot toward me, "would you
please tie my shoe?"
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It was the end of the day when I parked my police
van in front of the station. As I gathered my
equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and
I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a
dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is,"
I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
"What'd he do?"
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While working for an organization that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes,
walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a
glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe
this!"
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A little girl was watching her parents dress
for a party. When she saw her dad donning his
tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear
that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know
that it always gives you a headache next morning."
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While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer
that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his
five-year-old son and his playmates had found a
dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be
performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was
chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he
thought his father always said. "Glory be unto the
Faaaather. .and unto the Sonnnn. . . and into the
hole you goooo."
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To close each day's activities in summer and on
holidays in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World
at Lake Buena Vista, Fla., a huge fireworks display
lights up the sky. One night I noticed a small boy
about three years old perched on his father's
shoulder. The child sat mesmerized, aware only of
what was exploding in the heavens. When the fireworks
were over, the little boy looked up into the sky
again and said, "Thank you, God."
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My best lesson in child psychology came when I saw
our five-year-old, Steven, roughly jerking our toy
poodle's leash. Suddenly his fuming father appeared
and asked, "Do you want to tell me how sorry you are?"
"I don't know how much you saw!" Steven stammered.
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When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby
daughter, countless hours of peekaboo and other games
slowly took their toll. One evening she smacked her
bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing
her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to her side and
asked where it hurt. She looked at me through
tear-filled eyes and managed to moan, "It's the piggy
that ate roast beef."
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We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into
our new house in town. Early the next morning, our
3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up.
I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and
to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came
running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed,
"everybody has doorbells - and they all work."
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A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"
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One day Mother sent my little brother to the post
office to mail a letter. A few minutes later he came
back with a suspicious smile on his face. "What
happened?" my mother asked. "I just fooled the people
at the post office. When no one was looking, I dropped
the letter into the box without buying any stamps."
