DEEP THOUGHTS...
DEEP THOUGHTS...
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be
removed?
Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain
silent?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
