Things I've Learned
Things I've Learned as I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and
give in.
I've learned that no matter how much
I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build
up trust, and it only takes suspicion,
not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on
charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big
weenie or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare
yourself to others - they are more
screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking
long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot
and steamy a relationship is at first, the
passion fades, and there had better be
a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that no matter how you try to
protect your children, they will eventually
get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned that the people you care most
about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never
go away.
I've learned to say "F--- 'em if they can't
take a joke" in six languages.
