Virus Alert
Watch out for these new viruses. Neither Symantec, Norton, nor McAfee have solutions as yet!
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The John Kerry Virus - Reverses every position in your computer, each time you turn it on.
The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The Michael Jackson Virus - Attacks only minor files.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves... but will be back!
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
