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The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Cow Watch - 2002 (Update 2-26-2002)

Cow Watch - 2002 (Update 2-26-2002)


Fugitive Cow Finally Captured

The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots with a tranquilizer dart to bring her down. The first shot got her attention only long enough for SPCA workers to rope her - which really made her mad. She dragged the workers through the woods, down an embankment, and into a nearby neighbor's back yard, where a second tranquilizer dart finally brought her down.


Police Glad Cow Caught

Speaking for Cincinnati police, spokesman Lt. Kurt Byrd said, "I'm glad the cow's caught."


Where Now Brown Cow?

Addressing the cow's uncertain future, Lt. Byrd added, "It seems as though they're going to retire her somewhere." For now, the elusive cow is being held in a makeshift prison under 24 hour guard. So far we have had no confirmation of plans to move her to a secure military facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. An unconfirmed rumor has it that Johnnie Cochran has offered to represent her.



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