Things to Ponder, part 1
THINGS TO PONDER
1. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they
already know you don't have?
2. Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery
is dead?
3. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak?
4. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
5. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
6. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
Shouldn't they be called builts?
7. Why is the alphabet in that order?
8. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe
is expanding, what is it expanding into?
9. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would
the taxi driver end up owing you money? (I've tried it, it doesn't work)
10. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
11. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
12. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
13. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
14. When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
15. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open,
it's not a door?
16. Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
MORE THINGS TO PONDER
1. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.
2. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in
charge of everything outdoors?
3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
4. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
5. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
6. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?
7. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
8. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
9. Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM
longer?
10. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
all still working?
11. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
12. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always
ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
13. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing
liquid contains real lemons?
14. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
15. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
16. Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
17. Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
