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The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Things I've learned about Florida...

Things I've learned about Florida...


Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5000 types of snakes, and 4998 live in Florida.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Florida, plus a couple that nobody has seen before.

Squirrels will eat anything.

Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.

Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto is one word.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's "dinner" and then there's "supper."

Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two.

Backards and forwards means, "I know everything about you."

Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.



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